The Road and The Relationship

This morning I was thinking about my friendships and relationships that I have developed throughout the past decade. I have met all of my friends at many different points in my life, but high or low, the girls have seen me through it all. It seems like at every turn there is one of them in the passengers seat, watching the road or taking the wheel in support of my decisions and life choices. Regardless of where our lives take us, they are only a phone call or a plane ride away. They are mothers, wives, grandmothers, professional women, dreamers, teachers and lovers. There passion for what they believe in is infectious and I wouldn't have made it this far without them.

Relationships are the cornerstones to life. They are completely necessary for development as a child, for acceptance as a teen and for a life of bliss as an adult. I can hear my mother laughing now. But why do we feel like relationships with men in particular should define us? Ever since I had my first "boyfriend" at 13 or 14 it has always been about the guy - correction, boy. I think if as a teenager I had just figured out what music I liked, the places I liked to eat and the movie I wanted to see, I may have found out that I was better off with the girls.

Before your jaw hits the ground- yes, I am the same girl who fights for love, who gets up, dusts of and hops back on. The girl who searches desperately for the connection with my mate and who will move mountains and sometimes miles to show the person I love that I care and that I am the one. Why haven't I stopped to ask is he the one? What a cruel injustice I have done to myself. We all go through different types of relationships, the first love, the good on paper guy, the jock, the nice guy, but where is THE guy?

I have come to a harsh realization recently that stopped me cold. Over the years there have been strong contenders, but none of them really got me. The relationships were based on the fictional woman that I hand-crafted, manicured and dressed up with a blinding smile. I am pretty convincing when on a mission so in truth it really wasn't their fault. It was my fault and a guy will never be THE guy if it's not really me he is getting. Talk about creating potholes in your road to happiness.

I have to start being an honest participant in the communication process with those I allow into my life and learn how to be choosy when picking my next mate. My opinions and interests matter, and I need to find the courage to stand my ground when something is worth fighting for. THE guy and I will be able to live in bliss eventually, I just have some roadwork to do.