May 1st - "Officially" Birthday Month, so whats up?

You have to love it when your friends know you so well. While there is really no significance to May 1st in my life, I got numerous Facebook messages and texts to wish me a "Happy Birthday Month." Yup, let the celebrations begin!! But first, the questions...

Every year during this month, I question a lot of what is going on in my life. The current questions are coming from the dissatisfaction I have with my job. Our summer concert series begins this Friday night and preparing for the "season opener" makes me remember why I enjoy event planning. Being at a venue vs. a destination management company is completely different. Right now there is a lot of sitting at my desk and planning, but there is never anything that is urgent, or any fires to put out. I sell the space, get the proper documents from the clients and move on. I say "no" a lot. I don't own anything and my opinions rarely matter. Uh-oh.

I took the position needing a serious change from my chaotic job dealing with dine-arounds, galas, tours, transportation and traveling from Miami to Boston and everywhere in between. Everything was changing around me so change was the obvious choice. I was newly engaged, had moved apartments, and was traveling and working so much. I was finally in a committed and solid loving relationship, but professionally felt frazzled.  This coming from someone who has always felt empowered, confident and successful by her work and had a revolving door of boyfriends that just weren't right. Talk about a 180!

Now, I feel stale at my job because there is no opportunities to move up. There is no continuing education. There are no sales goals. I am the only producer in the office. I have no one that I can relate to and no one to truly turn to for guidance and support. And was recently told that I needed to "step up" my performance. This was after telling the boss I had generated thousands of dollars in sales and created a funding stream for almost all of our community programming. WTF.

I love this time of year to reflect on life and ask tough questions because it makes me think about how I can continue to get better at my job, and seek out the right profession for my new, married lifestyle. It just brings to mind the saying "you can't have it all." Sounds like a cop out to me. I mean, I get a birthday month, don't I?