So many questions after THE question.

So in the aftermath of this incredible moment I had a thought, after all the weddings I have planned, the weddings I have been to and been in, I have some opinions about what is acceptable and obviously NOT. I think these are the things that blushing brides are afraid to say, but you know me...I can't keep my opinions to myself.


Question 1: So, when are you getting married??

This is the question I get ALL the time! I mean, I have been engaged for three weeks and everyone is like “pick a date already” it took me 29 years to find the guy! Geeze!

For women who have been planning their weddings there whole live, this is easy. Most have already pick out the spot and put down the appropriate deposit amount, along with cutting out the size and shape of their groom. I am not criticizing there choices, but none of us can accurately predict that what you have chosen is going to be what you as "a couple" like.


As for me (and some other friends I might add,) I have no freakin clue! It doesn't matter how "in the wedding industry" you are, you can't make these decisions without the groom in mind and in hand. So many of us get lost on what we should do, where we should marry, and frankly who we should be marrying, but all that matters in the end is that you are spending the rest of your life with the one special person who was lucky enough to get you to say yes. I can picture former boyfriends and immediately pick out the wedding stereotype to go along with them. When I see the Squid, all I can see is him. It doesn't matter about everything else. However for those of you chomping at the bit, we are hoping to pick a time and place in the next few weeks.


Question 2: So, I am invited to the wedding, right?
Ok, I have to admit - I have actually asked this question before. But I think I asked my mom or sister NOT a casual acquaintance or random person in a bar! This is so awful. Not because you don't want to invite that particular person, its because how in the world do you even answer?!? Especially when you haven't event figured out where you are getting married. I know understand the dilemma of all my fabulous married friends who have gone through this before. We should all ban together and come up with an answer so equally absurd that it screeches that runaway train to a halt. "So, I am invited to the wedding right?" Oh, well most likely if you can acquire a pet monkey to play symbols for the processional...


Question 3: Can I see the ring?
Alright person interested in the ring viewing - you can ONLY see it if you can keep your facial muscles still or have amazing Botox. I am so sick of the faces and speechlessness of people after they grab my hand. So in my particular situation, please let me clarify my ring:
Yes, its an Emerald (and also my birthstone) and it's family ring that has been passed down for 40 years in the Squid's family and the diamonds are real. (Seriously, someone asked.) Also, if you are unaware, colored stones are all the rage for engagement rings these days. :) Thank you Martha Stewart.


My final note on this particular question - its not on your finger, so you don't have to like it.


Question 4: How involved does the Groom want to be?
What kind of question is this? I know a lot of men would like to just show up, take a swing of bourbon (or Tequila in the Squids case,) put on tailored clothing and walk down the isle. It should be that simple, but when you have a Groom that has a lot of opinions about what he wants and a Bride that just wants everyone to be happy, its important to get everyone on the same page. Also, if you just want to show up to your wedding and not really participate, is that how you will be during the marriage? I don't know about you, but that scares me.


For us, the short answer is VERY involved. The long is this, he wants this to be an experience for both of us. It is important that our wedding speaks to us and about us. Even through there is an "I" in marriage, there isn't in team. And that is what the Squid and I are, a team that can get through anything together. So, as hard as this process has been, and as much as I am compelled to make decisions on my own, if at the end of all of this he doesn't want to come to our own wedding, I have a real problem.


So these are Questions d'jour, but I am sure there will be more that pop up. I am excited about this process and can't wait to share more about everything happening in our lives. I couldn't be more lucky in love...I am so happy!