Strength at any (st)age.

There are a lot of reasons individuals feel strong. It might be because they were able to do the impossible, completed a task or were physically able to meet a goal. It is defined as a good quality in people and things, and is an accomplishment all on its own.

When you add the variable of age, the measurement changes. As children, we think we are strong when we can arm wrestle our older siblings or friends. In our teens, it is making it through the school year without being bullied. In our twenties, its surviving college and landing our first jobs. We are strong. Invincible.

These are all easy to identify, and in some ways less complicated. But what about once we are parents ourselves, or women choosing to follow our careers, or taking on the role of caretaker for our aging parents, or deal with debt. Failure. Loss. Death.

We are always quick to show our praises, but not our defeats. Not our vulnerabilities. But I have started watching those around me, and have realized that those I admire most, and that exude the most strength are those who don't just celebrate triumphs, but share their lows.

I am learning to be strong. I have recently been through a lot, and tried to put on a brave face, but through my latest move, the illness of my father, the loss of my beloved pet and the stressors of looking for a house and job I want to be open and find my strength.

I am starting a new fitness journey to get my health back on track, so I can be physically strong. I am trying new things to be sure that my mind regains its strength. I am trying to work as a team with my husband and rebuild friendships in order to strengthen my heart. I am ready to be whole again. And come out of all of this stronger than ever.

Loss and New Beginnings.

I wrote this poem just this morning thinking about how much I love Ruthie, our beloved rescue who would have turned 12 this May. She blessed us with her love for what would have been three years in June. She died in my arms this afternoon, on the first day of spring at 1:25pm. Just like spring, she has awakened my love of writing again, and I will be forever grateful. Bean, you are already missed desperately. 

Mommy, its ok to Cry.

I was the oldest one by far in a cold and sterile place, 

All the workers loved me, it must have been my face. 

You and daddy came to meet me and rescued me that same day.

You even brought my brother, who was too lazy to play.

A little nervous at first, I dropped my head on your lap to say hi, 

that is the moment you became my mommy, and when I first saw you cry. 

It didn’t take too long to learn the rules of the house,

I, the queen of the castle, and Brother quiet as a mouse.

Snuggles, cuddles, kisses that was our everyday treat.

I was great at digging ditches to cool myself from the heat.

You would always come and go and I wondered why, 

Sometimes I would be bad, and I would make you cry.

I love to wear fancy things and play dress up, just like my mommy does.

Hats, and scarves, shirts and sweaters and even the occasional rug.

It kept you happy and close, and that was the ultimate high,

Mommy you were laughing so hard, that its ok to cry.

We moved across the country, our first family road trip

It was cold, uncomfortable and snowing no place to take a dip.

We arrived to Auntie’s farm in just the nick of time,

To surprise my sweet cousin’s and have them see me in my prime.

Trouble started with you and dad, and you said you would try, 

I knew it must be hard, because Mommy you would cry. 

Nicknames like snugs, peanut and bousel bean caused grin from ear to ear, 

Just like waiting for your return home and hearing the car pull in the rear.

I would run and play and chase cars down the fence like I used to in DC, 

All the people who would walk by thought I was cute and such a sight to see. 

I would dance and growl when I was hungry, and sing and howl and sigh

Making you roll your eyes in pleasure, I was thankful it didn’t make you cry.

We spent two whole years in Colorado, through storms with ice and snow,

I made some many new auntie’s and my family continued to grow. 

When Grandpa’s illness got worse, you made the call to say goodbye, 

Then you found out I was dying, and you began to cry.

Road trip number two had a whole different theme,

Getting me back to Georgia was your ultimate dream.

My life has been so much better since you rescued me from that place.

Snuggles, cuddles, and kisses linger all over my face. 

All dogs go to heaven, and its a wonderful place,

I know that you will see me there and I will kiss you on your face.

They say it makes you stronger, and that its ok, that’s true. 

Mommy its ok to cry, just like the big girls do. 

Day Trip to Annapolis!

Today I was finally feeling a bit better and the Squid and I went to Annapolis. I just love this city because it is super close to DC (only about a 45 minute drive - if you get lost like we did) and every restaurant you go to has seafood!! Well, those aren't the only reasons I love it, but it was yesterday. 

We started off by taking a quick drive over the Bay Bridge. It is something that the Squid hasn't ever done, and I just thought it would be beautiful and the weather and boaters didn't disappoint! Then we went to Cantler's Riverside Inn to have some crab's and soak in the sun. It was a bit chilly, but a great sunny afternoon on the porch deck. I never realized how hard it is to eat crabs, but I did get to work out my frustrations with the mallet. 

After eating our fill, we slowly made our way into Annapolis and drove around a bit before parking and exploring the city. We made our way to Middleton Tavern, a place I have been before on a work trip and had great drinks and of course sat right next to a guy from Alpharetta, Georgia. It is such a small world. We joined him in trying there famous shrimp shooters and the cocktail sauce was out of this world! 

Then I took the Squid to a cigar shop where the shop keeper decided he would give us a little magic/comedy show while he helped us pick out cigars! Small places like this are the best place to find local talent. Then we walked up the narrow streets to the State House and took some pictures of the dome and the sunset. It was just lovely. 

It is so wonderful when you find someone to share your life with because you have a built in best friend anywhere you go. We laughed and joked all day long and just got to spend some much needed one on one time together. Sometimes you forget how special that can actually be.

Annapolis, we will see you again soon! But please be warmer when we come back!!

Friends and Fond Memories

You know birthday month isn't all about me. It is a wonderful excuse to make my friends get together. For them to rally and celebrate. I reach out to friends all over the country to check in, see how they have been and when the next time is that I can see their pretty faces, and their husbands, and babies, and dogs.

I have shared so many amazing memories with my friends over the years in the month of May. It has always been a month of endings and new beginnings. With the end of school, graduations, farewells. And the beginning of summer, vacations and new memories. I crave the days when all my closest friends lived in the same city and were completely accessible all the time. When the most last minute plans turned into the best nights of our lives.

This month in history I have watched friends walk down the isle, introduced strangers that have become life long friends, strengthened family bonds with a walk on the beach and had one too many margaritas with old friends. I have driven and flown countless miles to be close to those I love and had many, many birthday songs sung. Oh, and the Squid gave me a ring.

To those friends who I haven't talked to our seen in a while, I have not forgotten about the good times we have shared throughout the years on my birthday, and think about you all the time. Countless bottles of champagne and martinis on rooftop decks, seedy bars, and swanky restaurants. The cookouts, make outs and black outs. I think about the days when we were working on our tans, and crunching away our tummies to look hot in a bikini. When we were jumping fences to get into members hill at the horse races, consoling crying friends on party buses, and yes even eating boxes and boxes of pokey sticks and pizzas after a night out drinking. I remember you driving to Charlotte to celebrate my birthday because I was alone and even brought plastic glasses so we could sit by the pool with wine and not get in trouble. And of course I remember turning 21 in a sublet apartment in DC when two friends brought over a giant bottle of wine and we braided each others hair. Seriously, the best times of my life.

Mars and Venus make pizza

Why do you always get sick when you have a deadline, or life milestone, or some significant goal? I woke up this morning with a swollen throat and creepy crawlies. My first thought was NOT NOW, I have way too much going on for this. But inevitably life throws something in your path to slow you down so you don't get too far ahead of yourself. Okay, I get it.

Anyway, I didn't let it stand in my way, but proceeded with caution and opted for a nice soothing yoga instead of my usual Insanity. I breathed deeply through my yoga and then the Squid and I went to Jack-n-Dabes (this would be Jackie and Dave's House, we are weird) and had a pizza showdown. The competition was simple, make the best pizza ever. It was girls vs. guys and it was ON.

The girls pizza channeled a fresh and light palate pleasing combination of pesto, goat cheese, roasted red peppers, mushrooms and mozzarella cheese.

The guys pizza was a take on a meat lovers pizza, but their pepperoni went bad, so they ended up with tomato sauce, Gouda, bacon, mozzarella cheese.

As we were all sitting there enjoying our pizzas and taste testing each other's creations it dawned on me. John Gray was right, men are from Mars, and women are from Venus! Men enjoy the simplicity of greasy, meaty, smoky flavors from their pizza (not to mention they couldn't kneed the dough in a circle, so it was a wonky looking rectangle) that either put them in a food coma or cause a heart attack. It was tasty, yes. But I felt so guilty for eating it. Our pizza on the other hand was lovely. It had more complex flavors, lots of textures and was so pretty with its green, red and white colors (in a perfect circle.) It tasted fresh and something you could even eat on a hot summers day.

If you haven't caught on yet, the pizzas are like us. Men are simple, creatures of habit and can be hard on the stomach, and sometimes give you a heart attack. Women are complex, thoughtful, complicated and easy to enjoy year round. It takes a strong woman to be with a man. I mean, the number one killer of women is heart disease. Ladies beware, and if you have a good man keep him happy. Your life depends on it.